zy

2005-11-09T21:48:00.000+08:00

why is it so hard? so, so hard to just forget everything?
why is it so important to me?
what for just hoping when it ain't gonna make things better?
what for? it seems like i'm like so stuck.
well what can i say. what's new.

2005-11-09T21:04:00.000+08:00

uncle albert's wedding yday.
went aft sch, dad picked me up
he got a pretty bride.lol.
dinner at goodwood park
nt a bad buffet spread.ate my fill.
went home then went online to slack.
sch today was as usual, 3 hr break.
gamed alot. tired. yawn.

-i've learnt the hard way, to never let myself fall so hard

2005-11-07T21:42:00.000+08:00

a normal day at sch.
raced francis during lesson.
clocked my best timing on bellavista.
francis car is mad. sucha good car.
not fair. i want a car tuned tt good too.
haha. anyway went to kap durin break
installed fm06.'man bought.its fun!
now playing. whee.

-thanks for sparing me! it really
was a blessing in disguise.thank God.

2005-11-06T22:58:00.000+08:00

went shopping with mum.
got a pair of jeans and a shirt frm zara.
200 bucks of free stuff. heh.
i love shopping with mum!
its as if i type a cheat code tt gives me lotsa money
and its fun too!
hahaha
aft shopping met up with daddy
went to have dinner.
visited grands aft tt.
had fun with some new pc game.
forgot what its called thou.ha.
had quite a fun day.haha.

2005-11-06T13:59:00.000+08:00

been gameing alot, trying to break
all my best lao timings.
at least i wont think so much.
it was my fault. i assumed too much.
thought too much.
i just hope..

2005-10-30T13:29:00.000+08:00

havent been updating daily, kinda lazy.
today's the last day of hols for me, its back to sch tmr.
i wish the hols could last just a wee bit longer thou
yesterday was as usual, church and stuff.

-uncertianty

2005-10-24T22:20:00.000+08:00

this is what i saw at a carpark near my hse. bali bombings?
wierd huh. a burnt out truck.

2005-10-23T17:51:00.000+08:00

to m:

i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you i miss you

2005-10-22T23:37:00.000+08:00

haven't been gg online of blogging these few days.
just realised i kept gg online cos i was looKing forward
to something, now gg online seems boring.
played soccer in the morning at queensway.
left at about 1145, moved on to rp.
wonderful journey on bus 32, took us to redhill.
so we walked to rp. ha
played then bathed. for ben and titus, yes, here i am,
blogging that my pants got wet cos some water spilt onto it.
and we were all drinking f&n grape. all cept titus.
ok anyway went to church, had nasi lemak.
kg showed invisible deck, nice trick.
went for cluster meeting, talked abt bgr.
discussed lotsa stuff, some pastor couple came to talk to us bout it.
after that went to hawker then service.
service was also bout bgr.
after service went to eat, had ba chor mee and satay.
miss u.

2005-10-19T18:13:00.000+08:00

borin day, didn't really do much, went online in the morn
had breakfast at 1230, read a book.
lunch at 2, continued reading. pretty monotonous day.
nothing much to update.
was happy yesterday but well, maybe its just me.

2005-10-17T18:42:00.000+08:00

sicked, tired.
been sleeping alot lately,
like sleeping 3/4 of my day.
maybe it's a good rest.
been slacking around and sleeping the whole day away,
can't really do much.
woke up at 11,
breakfast n straits times.
slept at 1, woke at 430, online, played battle for middle earth.
now its 642, and i feel like sleeping! at least when i sleep i won't
think that much. guess its good in a way.

2005-10-16T14:35:00.000+08:00

sunday.
nt sure what time i slept yday, pretty late thou
was just lying there emo-ing
tired. yawns. dry n tired eyes.
and i got woken up at 8 today, went to climb telok blangah hill
with my parents. super tired lah.
couldnt meet elaine cos gg grands place.
davio couldnt race cos gg grands place.
damn it lah.
damn tired. damn sad. breaking away.

2005-10-15T22:42:00.000+08:00

tired. soccer in the morn, played 3 on 3.
at qss. after that went with ben to get his slippers.
walked around queensway, checked out shops.
saw a nice white nike slipper! haha if i get tt i will wear slippers to chuurch!
HAHA
anyway ben bought a kapa slipper for 9.90.
bet his parents don't believe him. haha
went to the auditorium at 225, slept awhile while the band was practicing.
went for cell after that, then service.Hope to get a breakthru in some stuff.
after that went to chinatown, had frog legs. dad ordered alot.
when the waitress/helper came, she was like:'eh jiao ze me duo?'
hope my chi han yu pin yin is eligible!
anyway enjoyed dinner, then went home. and guess what,
i still DON'T have scv at home. tell me how boring like is without scv.
sitting here doing nothing.stoning.
i miss you.

2005-10-14T23:09:00.000+08:00

frustrated, why can't i keep my feelings in check.
i really miss you alot. no idea why, no idea how to stop.
do you still? i'm so. sigh. undescribeable
it isn't the end of the world,
its not like someone is holding a knife to my throat,
so what is wrong? why can't i just throw the memory away?
just lay it among the memories that are at the back of my head,
rarely looking at them, and they don't bother me either
i really wish i was a computer, could just delete all the files away
and empty the recycle bin, easy as that,
to get rid of all this excess baggage.
what's the point in dwelling in the past?
its like quicksand, easy to go in but hard to get out of,
and i'm drowning inside it now. yes time has passed,
but still, i don't know why i am feeling this way.

anyway went to reeve's hse to game today
ended up loosing EVERY winning 11 game i played
eh tt's ok, he plays 6 star difficulty.
consoling myself! lol. but hey its true rt?
anyway today i ate kfc twice.
once with reeve for lunch, had 2pc chicken n 2 pc drumlets,
and cheese fries. tt is alot. had trouble finishing.
went home mom opened the door, guess what guys?
kfc for dinner!!!!! i'm like yay! LOL
but i ate less, shared the vhicken arnd.
haha soccer tmr!

2005-10-13T21:49:00.000+08:00

rough day today, sorta had heated debates
its like why cant i live my life the way i want it?
i mean what do u expect me to do durin the hols rt?
and i'm still very hurt over tt decision,
i tried so hard to obey even though i didnt want to
in the end it screwed up everything
i cant forget tt, and never will
i dont wanna be sterotyped to the WORLD,
doing what the world thinks is good.
its MY life, and i live it MY way.
i do the things tt i think is RIGHT,
not what ppl think is RIGHT.
i've had enough of listening.
i understand myself best, so yeah just leave me alone.

2005-10-13T13:37:00.000+08:00

why

enough is enough

2005-10-12T22:18:00.000+08:00

went out today,
left hse at 1220
was raining so heavily so cabbed to town
the uncle was pretty chatty
well tt's ok, but he was chatting in chi?!
it takes a few moments to understand what he's sayin
cos he speaks like so fluently and so chim?!
it took like 5 mins for me to get tt he was talking abt the erp
he says erp stand for Every Road Pay
LOL
humourous uncle
got to plaza sing, slacked, met jem's friends
went to eat lunch, then played xbox
winning 11 and nfsu2, aft tt daytona
went home and here i am.

2005-10-11T23:02:00.000+08:00

well i've finally changed my blogskin
guess it looks better now
easier on the eyes.

kinda emo now, guess ppl never change
i'm so tired, dont wish to carry on.
dissapointed.

2005-10-11T19:05:00.000+08:00

sometimes i just wish i could turn back time
i know i should not be thinking so much,
but i just cant stop myself thinking so much
i dreamt last night
it brought me back to those past memories
left me thinking the whole day
well i've never felt like this before
so confused, not knowing what to do
not knowing what's best, so afraid that i will choose to do the wrong thing,
something that i will regret in the future
i'm so unsure of what to do
yet in whatever action i will take,
i see myself regretting it in the future
feel like going on, not deciding, let fate have its way
but yet i know that is impossible
arrghh i wish God will just decide for me
just take care of anything and everything
cos he knows what's best for me
its so hard trying and trying without confidence
shld have gone for prayer last sat
when some guy had a vision
he said there are people in this crowd who have alot of hidden matters
and its weighing them down
.
well we're finally playing soccer this saturday,
at queensway secondary school. 10am till 1pm
another uneventful day goes by
was supposed to meet someone
but in the end couldnt
hope we meet up soon

2005-10-10T17:47:00.000+08:00

boring day
woke up at 1130(earlier than usual!)
bought lunch at 130
started gameing from 215 to 550
lol
finished half a season of winning 11
too bored
hahaha
all those ppl who talked to me
SORRY!!
didnt realise so many ppl talked
lol
no wonder my game was lagging
SORRY PPL!!
REALLY SRY BOUT TT!!
next time if i dont reply
give me a ring k
LOL
today's mom n dad's weddin anniversary
mayb gg out for dinner ltr
i'm hungry.

2005-10-07T18:59:00.000+08:00

just slacked at home today
real tired cos i slept arnd 4 last night?
dont ask me why.
and when i woke up in the morn
heard music coming frm my pillow
thought i was in a dream, but
no, i left my zen on thru the night
and no, it does not prove tt i'm stupid
been playing games like mad
it helps relax myself
feel like sleeping now
so shall stop here

2005-10-06T20:39:00.000+08:00

went out with davio today
starbucks
walked arnd
arcade
xbox
was shivering like mad today
and davio,
that is not ah-kua
dunno why also
even when i got outa the aircon place
i was still shiverin
no idea why
saw lotsa 'air pork'
saw this 2 indian guys laughing over russel peters
they were frm np
one was carryin the free lappy bag

2005-10-06T19:35:00.000+08:00

THE PERFECT GUY
-im the guy who will text you every single morning
and tell you good morning and every single night
to tell you sweet dreams.

-im the guy who will text you and tell you "i love
you and you make me smile" just because it's true.

-im the guy who will blindfold you and take you to
the beach, let you run your toes through the sand
and then make you guess where we are.

-im the guy who will show up at your games (or
competitions or meets) without you knowing just to
surprise you.

-im the guy who will hold you when you are crying
and wipe away your tears.

-im the guy who still thinks that you're beautiful
even without makeup but instead, in sweat and a
big t-shirt.

-im the guy who won't pressure you to do things
you dont want to.

-im the guy who will show up at your house with
soup and a movie when you aren't feeling well.

-im the guy who kisses you on the forehead.

-im the guy who doesnt kiss and tell.

-im the guy who actually listens to you when you
talk.

-im the guy who's excited all day because im
looking forward to our date that night.

-im the guy who is contented to just be able to hold
you and wants nothing more.

-im the guy who can't help but smile when you walk
into the room.

-im the guy whos perfectly happy with staying in
and watching movies and cuddling.

-im the guy who won't lie to you about where hes
going or where he's been or who he's been with.

-im the guy who gets butterflies when he hears
your name.

-im the guy who picks you over his friends.

-im the guy who's not afraid to tell his friends
he loves you.

-im the guy that isn't afraid to tell you he loves you.

-im the guy who isn't always trying to act like a
hard ass around you.

-im the guy that will tell you how i feel.

-im the guy who doesn't care about your
imperfections and loves you more for them.

-im the guy who will hold you while we watch the
sunset.

-IM THE GUY WHO REALLY WANTS TO MAKE
YOU THE
HAPPIEST GIRL IN THE WORLD.
.
a definition of the perfect guy
is it true?
hmm
even if u try to be this guy
will it work?

2005-10-05T21:42:00.000+08:00

Met Amanda at kap this morn
had mac
i ate hotcakes
forgot to say 'and sausage'
the place was packed with students
so damn noisy
mg, hcjc, ny,sajc
all muggin
met yi jun there
guess she lives arnd that area
slacked and ripped music
lol
aft tt her friend went with her to do proj
i went home
slack afternoon again
a baby bird flew in my hall
shit on the window
make me clean
basket
do i look like a maid??

2005-10-04T20:54:00.000+08:00

its now or never,
and i choose never
its hard to make this decision
if ever its meant to be
God will work i guess
was talking today
then suddenly got kinda emo
well i'm tired
playin too muchgames
mu

2005-10-03T14:13:00.000+08:00

good riddance.
great day today
slacking all day long as usual
life seems to be getting better
slept at 1 plus yday
yet woke at 730 today
tired
but something's keeping me awake
haha
nt sure why but yeah

2005-10-02T12:17:00.000+08:00

havent been updating cos life's been pretty the same
well yday had service followed by j21
slacked the whole day away
went to church at 6
and this week
I WORE SHOES
NOT SLIPPERS!
HAHA
oK nothing else to update alr
life's been pretty the same

2005-09-27T23:03:00.000+08:00

cant explain anything now
more n more questions everyday
maybe amanda's sixth sense is right
it has always been
match tmr
playing centre.
composure!!
haha
gg to collect jerseys at 1230 tmr
woohoo
gg to sleep now!

2005-09-26T19:54:00.000+08:00

this day brings back countless memories
inexplicable joy on this date a couple of months back
its not something tt i will forget
its difficult to explain how i am feeling
i cant explain why
but after so long
the feelings are still there
every moment spent with you
is a moment i'll treasure
i miss you

2005-09-25T23:23:00.000+08:00

boring day
nsm no sdrawkcab gnihtyreve etorw
fun fun
kinda keeps me occupied
bored
cant explain the feeling i'm getting
i dunno why i'm feling this also
i tried so hard.
i really did.
but guess when u try so hard
sometimes it backfires
soccer training tmr
gonna sleep now

2005-09-25T11:12:00.000+08:00

i dunno what's this happening for
and how long more it will drag on
its becoming very irritating
and its really taking up alot of my energy
i just wish it didnt happen
well who knows?
then maybe i would be enjoying life now
yday when she mary(forgot her surname)
was preaching
sorta realised tt i still have so many things in my box
all the dissapointment and all the hurt
well she's been thru more
sometimes i just wish i was God
could do everything and anything
.
training in sch yday
xbox at ps
church
home
zzz
.
b o r e d

2005-09-23T22:57:00.000+08:00

boring day
woke up early
met lydia n bird at queenstown mrt
went to have lunch at changi b4 sendin tif off
had bk
slacked n talked
aft tt met the rest of the ppl
sent tif off
then went home
on the train back was super tired
really wanted to fall asleep standing
thankfully i reached home soon enough
where did we loose it?
i'll nvr know

2005-09-22T21:54:00.000+08:00

spent the day with francis rahman n gadaffy
ordered jerseys
fbt
took no.17
pooled
went home
feeling very down these few days
screwed up life
can we go back to the beginning?
just like before?
i guess its only a dream of mine
i've tried so hard
tried all i could.
maybe it just isnt enough
i didnt fuck around
just tried so hard
maybe i tried too hard
why did i ever cause myself so much pain
why was i so stupid
thinking tt everything was as i thought
everything was great
too freaking great
thanks for everything man
thanks for letting me feel something i will always treasure
and then just shattering the dream
.
what kinda person toys with another
he/she shld just go and die
excuse me?
there's no place for these kinda ppl in the world!
maybe hell has a place for u

2005-09-22T00:05:00.000+08:00

tired.
tired of everything
i feel i've lost faith
lost hope
i cant connect like before
am sorta in a world of my own
so indifferent to the world arnd me
its nt tt i dun care
i cant seem to focus
cant seem to snap outa this
is this a game?
it isnt fun
i really dont know what to do
maybe i should just fade away
who cares
what's the use
sharing problems
maybe its hard to know how i am feeling
well it aint gonna be easy
to get outa this (explenative) life
this big mess
.
.
Whatcha’ doin’ tonight
I wish I could be a fly on your wall
Are you really alone
Who's stealin' your dreams
Why can't I bring you into my life
What would it take to make you see that I'm alive

[Chorus]

If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invincible
I'd make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I could just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
(Wait..I already am)

Saw your face in the crowd
I call out your name
You don't hear a sound
I keep tracing your steps
Each move that you make
Wish I could read what goes through your mind
Wish you could touch me with the colors of your life

[Chorus]

If I was invisible
Then I could just watch you in your room
If I was invincible
I'd make you mine tonight
If hearts were unbreakable
Then I can just tell you where I stand
I would be the smartest man
If I was invisible
(Wait..I already am)

I reach out
But you don't even see me
Even when I'm scream out
Baby, you don't hear me
I am nothing without you
Just a shadow passing through...

2005-09-21T12:16:00.000+08:00

2005-09-21T12:14:00.000+08:00

testing

2005-09-21T11:44:00.000+08:00

BORED
dont think i updated yday
did i? hmms
anyway yday morn n afternoon
sorta did nothing
played maple
lols
lame but time consuming
at night talked on the phone abit
really hope my prayers will be answered
.
woke up super early this morn
decided not to go town
couldn't sleep last night
up thinking
nt sure how i'm gonna spend today
prob just slack the day away

2005-09-19T23:22:00.000+08:00

soccer training in sch today
only a few ppl came dwn
drizzled but played
aft tt showered at sports hall
ate at the cafe near the pool
the uncle insisted on speaking chi to my alay friend
he thought he was funny
my friends were like
ehh he's wierd
aft tt went to play xobx
stupid francis
lucky lucky
won me
hahaha

2005-09-18T23:22:00.000+08:00

boring day
dwnloaded initial D ep 17 & 18
slacked arnd the whole day
went to grands for mooncake fest
ate mooncake
watched bean the ultiate disaster
lame show
.
what if i said i miss u?
hmmms

2005-09-17T23:20:00.000+08:00

no soccer today
courts were occupied
lan party
lunch
pool
cell
service
really dont feel like blogging
feeling kinda down
guess its too much coming back
too much for me to take
dont think anyone will understand
maybe not even you
the memories seem so clear
as if they were just yesterday
i was really serious
getting over is easier said than done

2005-09-16T20:53:00.000+08:00

tired.
slept at 3 yday
playing games frm abt 2-3 when we were supp to be studyin
fun fun
nfsu2
eng tat got wacked
hahahahaha
aft amp this morn
went lot 1 arcade
plaed initial D
played daytona
played some shotin game
went to joel's hse
nfsu2
matri reloded
home
dinner
zzzzz

2005-09-12T22:10:00.000+08:00

glad u made the right choice. don't waste your time on him. do take care and all the best in the future!
.
today was pretty boring
went to beauty world mac
studied tf till bout 325
went to pool
won 1 game then went on a loosing streak
to much on my mind i guess
been forgetting things here and there
was pretty pre-occupied today
too many past memories coming back
read the blog this afternoon
maybe i made too many mistakes
a little too many
or maybe it wasnt God's will
well i cant do much bout it
tf tmr
not really ready for it
a little scared
prayed alr thou
-everything's changing

2005-09-11T14:46:00.000+08:00

didnt update yday
was tired
played soccer as usual in the morn
miah's in army for 2 weeks so wont be havin him arnd
had to leave at 1215 cos they wanted to fogg the place in prevention of dengue
we had to shower elsewhere
some went to rp to shower
some went home
jeremy came over to my place
got some stuff for the tif's farewell party
cabbed to church
surprise party!
tif we're gonna miss u!
ahaha
aft cell, went to service
after service discussed some soccer stuff
da pao-ed hokkien mee
ate home
watched true files
online
zzzzzzz
********************
today
.
been slacking for quite long alr
woke at 830 cos dad bought nasi lemak
asked me to eat
was like oh ok
so tired
gona study soon
hope to do well

2005-09-09T23:41:00.000+08:00

engine maths
.
skipped complex nos
.
finished in 30 mins
.
slept
.
woke up
.
went home
.
winning 11
.
slacked
.
swensons
.
teen challenge
.
train ride
.
bus ride
.
memories
.
blogging
.
tired.sick n tired.God help me.

2005-09-08T22:42:00.000+08:00

to that someone
you know who you are
if you are reading this,
i've been praying for you
.everyday.
guess God answered that prayer
i thank him for that
all glory to God
stay happy yeah?
take care and
have fun with your good friends
maybe i wasnt good enough
-doing all i can to be a better man

2005-09-07T01:56:00.000+08:00

feel very awake so blogging for the day
had breakfast at kap
think i saw someone familiar
had hotcakes and sausage
saw this cheena guy n his gf
he was playing some com game
his gf was looking on
he didnt even bother abt her
her face was super sian!!!
hahaha
walked back to sch
on the way back joked abt cheena ppl
super funny
.
met kg at queensway at abt 630
looked arnd
he came my hse to study
left at abt 1015
sent him to the bus stop
came home
feeling frustrated at some stuff
its hard to explain how i am feeling
well if u talked to me
thanks for being there
.
tt's all i guess
dont feel like updating more
Good morning!!
hahs

2005-09-04T12:51:00.000+08:00

Havent been blogging for days
been kinda caught up with things
out of laziness
i shall just blog for yday
woke up at 8
went to rp to play soccer
played as cm
super shiok
ahahahaha
tired man
aft soccer jian rong my bro n me
walked frm rp to church
like so far lah
it looked near at first
the hawker looked just arnd the bend
but the bend never ended!!!
hahaha
had lunch. nasi lemak.
then went to play dota with kg n my bro
i got thrashed
so sian lah
went for cell aft tt
then went for service
aft service there was a little soccer stuff to do
met sharon. she passed me initial D vcd
its very nice
there's this little magnet inside
i think its cool
hahs
aft tt had dinner at the hawker
anyone who would like to buy fiesta fair coupons for the teen challenge 7 a side competition, please buy frm me!!
its $5 per coupon.
.
watched initial D
love the racing scenes
haha

2005-08-31T18:42:00.000+08:00

rushed mol in maths this morn
after i finished didnt go back to jj
sch finished at 12 plus
was too late by then
so went home
reached home at 1
uncle was there
passed me a camper shoe to season
been slacking at home since then
b o r e d .

2005-08-30T18:34:00.000+08:00

compro in the morning
was quietly practising autocad
then that guy has to come and disturb me
i told him i accidentally closed the window
tt's why i had nothing on my screen
hahahaha
then aft tt he sat down with me to do compro
wahhh
by the time the program was done
my lappy screen was full of his saliva
yuckks!
but i feel a sense of achievement!
finally wrote a program with a 'for' loop
wahahaha
.
had autocad test
thank God it was easy!!
finished like an hour before time was up
the quenstions were kinda like the mock test
phew
must do well!!
after tt went for amp
crapped abt in class
mr Wong gave us tips
.
met miah aft sch
went to pool near church
the tables and balls suck to the max
playing there really sux
is like so diff compared to mambo
the balls are not even shiny
they're like so dull
anyway played till abt 430
then went home
finally autocad test is over!
now for compro test on fri
i'm seriously damn stressed up
hahaha
gonna take this little time to relax

2005-08-29T19:32:00.000+08:00

today was a hectic day in sch
went to sch to rush out my autocad project
went to lib at 10
did till 11 plus
yi hong, joel, francis and yi long
were playing dota
i was bored
talking on the phone
then the lib 'warden' came in
caught them
he said i was the worst
talking on the phone
so i said eh?! are u sure?!
i'm talking on the phone discussing bout project!!
then he was like
okay okay
never mind
next time you know
then i continued talking
then he got kinda pissed
made me hang up
and gave us a lecture
haha
as if we were listening
.
rushed autocad proj in autocad class
rushed like mad
finished at 345
skipped thermo
then we found out
thermo had ended at 330
mr. Jaya is really hardworking
hahahaha
aft tt came home
was so hungry
wanted to eat choc
but couldnt cos i have cough
will eat soon
haha

2005-08-28T08:58:00.000+08:00

havent updated for 2 days
very tired i guess
on fri had compro test
it was ok
went out with becca benny and miah after sch
had dinner then went to mambo
met darren there
pooled till bout 11
took 111 home
.
saturday was ok
soccer in the morning
was fun
met vic and went to cafe galilie
if tt is how u spell it
haha
then had cell
service
i was asking God
what should i do?
i really dont know what to do
then went to eat seafood at some restraunt
was kinda ex but nice
came home
chatted online
went to sleep
.
mixed up

2005-08-25T19:16:00.000+08:00

sch was good today
the presentation was a success
happy the way it turned out
during IAC today
realised that there are two freeloaders in my class
some of us are kinda pissed
one is acting dumb
is the other really dumb?
ahaha
anyway felt like eating aft IAC
humgry
so went to eat at can 4
has bento
sat and talked abt stuff
our com toolkit teacher has a nickname
'stain'
too long to explain why
but super funny
laughed like mad
aft we decided we had slacked enough
went to class
we were 40 mins late
the moment we stepped into class
we switched on our lappys
started racing
wahahaha
.
supp to have compro 'remedial' lesson
but tt teh yew seng didnt turn up
what a great teacher
in the end went home
slacked
thrashed my bro at sprint and street x
he doesnt wanna play with me anymore
oops
hahaha
.
now shall update bout yday
.
was too busy witht things to update
sch was as usual
had thermo test
well i guess it was ok
hope to pass
aft thermo test
went to the benches at block 50 to dota
aft tt met sharon at can 1
passed her initial D
then took 61 home
talked on the bus
reached home and slacked a while b4
doing my proj
aft tt was chatting online
then wenta sleeppp

2005-08-25T19:14:00.000+08:00

i dunno what made u say that
seriously, those words u said
they really shocked me.
no idea why u said them

2005-08-23T19:01:00.000+08:00

sch was okay today
did a little durin compro
then dota-ed with terrence
was fun
hahas
then durin autocad
teacher was in india doing some wind tunnel check
they're ordering a wind tunnel
so rich.
watched initial D
it was great as usual
now starting to become more and more interesting
so nice!
ahaha
.
after AMP
went to library with yi long mk and francis
studied abit
and copied notes
came home and studied
now getting the hang of chap 5
i still hav chap 6!!!
arghh
hahaha
well i guess i'll finish it somehow
haha

2005-08-22T21:00:00.000+08:00

tired!
yawns
went to sch early today.
at abt 1045
watched initial D fourth stage anime
episodes 9 and 10
its so addictive!
hahas
i'm getting addicted to it
serious!
well it was nice as usual
then dota-ed during autocad
was quite fun but got dc-ed
was doing my self-study during thermo
test on wed!!!
hahas
.
aft sch met sharon and mag
was walking at a distance for a while
but couldnt really recognise them frm the back
was gg to the overhead bridge then sharon saw me
hahas
.
on 61 back
kinda bored. was listening to songs
but my mind was miles away
not really listening to the music
just let it blare away
.
gg to study for a while now

2005-08-21T13:54:00.000+08:00

ok i'm gonna update a little bout soccer
yday it was pretty messy at first cos
ppl came late n stuff
on the way there, something funny happened
satoshi, a jap, was kinda lost
he was at the wrong gate
so i was trying to direct him to the right gate
i called him
and on the phone it sounded very funny
cos there he was, speaking with his jap accent
and here i was speaking with my local accent
so here are two ppl trying to make each other understand themselves
and not succeeding at all
well finally he came to the right gate.phew.
hahaha
the security was kinda tight at queensway
the guard wasnt very friendly at first
but after that he kinda warmed up
and even started joking
than God for tt
hahaha
anyway soccer there was fun and all
glad we are able to use the place
hope we can get the field soon
hahas
.
i'm so tired now.
slept at 3 yday
miah noes why
haha
yawns
ltr still needa visit my grandma
she's not in a very good state of health
havent visited her for ages
but something in me says:
'can i dont go?'
hahs

2005-08-21T00:26:00.000+08:00

today was the first day of soccer
used queensway
will update more tmr or smthing
real tired now
but today in service
something happened
when the altar call came
it was exactly what i was gg thru and all
something in me was saying u gota go
so i went
kinda broke down and aall
but now i feel much better
guess it helped
i guess some things just dont go away so easily
but God is always here for us
hope to get closer to him and all
-nights-

2005-08-19T21:12:00.000+08:00

well today was quite usual
got hooked on initial D anime
joel sent to me
eng tat downloaded
finally he seems useful
wahaha
and the best thing is that
after watching till the 8th series
wanted to dwnload the 9th
then found out
the site crashed! best.
ahaha
.
went to queensway aft lunch
got a low bounce ball for tmr
tmr'll be the first time soccer is held at queensway
hope it'll turn out well
miah's not coming.he's sicked.
cant wait for tmr. hahs.
.
something in me feels wrong abt some stuff
dont know how to phrase it out
and i cant really talk it out either
.
is what u predicted coming true?
am i that unsure of myself?
my thoughts and all?

2005-08-18T19:03:00.000+08:00

pissed off with lotsa stuff today
first
my com toolkit teacher asks me to hand up the project
to put it in her pegion hole in sch
and wth i'm on mc..
excuse me mrs gan.. u want to get sore eyes?
wth man
so in the end i sent it to joel and asked him to help print
and put in her damn hole
.
next
my mom is starting over not gg soccer cos i am 'sick'
excuse me..
i'm feeling better than last week
what the heck
dunno what's the problem
what's the problem with playing soccer?
i've alr explained to her we'll be playing at queensway
and tt i've got a role to do
in her head, there's always someone else to do if i cant
wth if everybody thinks this way
who's gonna get things done?
its not like i'm super discplined
but think abit lah
its not like soccer is everyday
its only like 2 or 3 hours every WEEK
whats the problem?!
.
was looking forward to watching initial D anime
but aft i copied it
cannot work?!
dowloaded the dunno what player
cannot work also!?
wth
now i have to pack my room again
all the small small details
again. arghh

2005-08-17T20:52:00.000+08:00

went to see the doc at 1130
the clinic was pretty empty
so it was quite quiet
something funny happened
when the receptionist asked for my hse no
i gave her my old hse no
i was like 67754..
oops
then she sorta gave me a stare
haha
.
the doc was quite nice
looked quite 'motherly'
she gave me some antibiotics for cough
and an eye drop
the best thing she gave me
was a 3 day mc
wahaha
i was quite shocked when i saw the duration of the mc
i mean i didnt expect it to be 3 days
thought it would be 2
guess cos sore eyes is very contageous

2005-08-17T08:44:00.000+08:00

just woke up
not gg to sch today cos got soree eyes
last night it was kinda hard to sleep
tossing about in my bed
couldnt realy get much sleep
.
you tell me your feelings faded
cos we didnt talk for so long
i should not hold on so tightly?
maybe it was because
i loved you so much
do feelings fade tt easily?
i just wish i can forget just like tt
u tell me you dont believe in waiting
i cant do much to make you believe either
well, i was serious.
all that glitters isnt gold
.
gg to see the doc now
hopefully my eyes will recover soon
cant wait for sat
in the meantime i must do some
stupid comn toolkit stuff

2005-08-16T22:13:00.000+08:00

well, today was quite okay
as in the day passed quickly?
had compro, autocad b4 lunch
and amp after lunch
went home to slack n study abit
after dinner
coughing like mad
then realised tt i got sore eyes
not gg to sch tmr
gg to see the doc in the morn
hope i dont miss out much in sch
gotta do my infocomn proj too
looks like i'll be home doing tt
ahaha

2005-08-16T11:16:00.000+08:00

its as if everything has came crashing down
i dont know how to explain how it feels but
i feel as if my world has just faded away
life feels so empty now
i wouldnt mind if i collapse and die while playing soccer
at least i would be doing something that i enjoy
well suicide is selfish
but sometimes arent we too other's centered?
giving all
but reciving nothing much?
what's the use of looking forward to a dream come true
before it comes crashing down
and when it happens again
what am i supposed to think?
just keep trying and keep coming crashing down again?
when will the dream finally become a reality?

2005-08-15T23:35:00.000+08:00

today was kinda boring?
sch was so boring
some ppl frm sp challenged my class
to a soccer match
they want to play in np
so if they loose they can say
'we were playing away
so got disadvantage brudder'
cocky muds as usual
hahas
.
aft sch went to meet kg
had dinner then went to lavender
met the rest of the cell
proceeded to lala's grandma's
wake at s'pore casket
hung arnd for a while
then went home
saw an old friend
zun chen
he still has tt blur blur look
hahaha
called him to chat for awhile
his alvls are coming real soon
all the best to him.
nights

2005-08-15T23:26:00.000+08:00

well do you even love me anymore?
i'm not sure about that
why is this sorta happening again
i dont need this shit
i hate this feeling
this bloody stupid shit
i guess life is just a game full of lies and deception
its as if you have totally changed
maybe i've changed too
the rainbow was almost complete
then a bomb dropped on it
and now its gone.
shattered to pieces.

2005-08-14T17:29:00.000+08:00

super bored at home!

haha
so so bored
tired too
well talked to her for a while on msn just then
to tt someone,
i really miss you alot
though i didnt know you for a long time
though we werent tog for a long time
though everything was so restricted
i cant explain why i'm feeling so much
the feelings just cant fade away like that
i'm just feeling so much
its hard to let go just like tt
all this while
i've been really missing you
i dont know what to do now
i've been refraining from looking at the photos
they just make me miss you even more

2005-08-14T09:52:00.000+08:00

woke up quite early
took medicine so i'm feeling better now
but at the same time i'm so irritated
and tired
my mom is scolding me
what for i dont understand
over such trival matters
give me a break man
all she knows is that
i dont care about the house
and all i am doing is going out
and playing soccer
she thinks these are the only
things that i care about
all because she gets angry with my bro
so i get it too
i'm so tired of these scoldings
its damn bloody irritating
does she even know what i am gg thru?
i'm so damn tired
of just listening to her scold
and from her point of view
i'm enjoying life
planning when to play soccer, gg out with so n so
she thinks my world is so damn carefree
and that i only want to enjoy
she thinks that i've got no problems
nothing to worry about
cant she see that i'm so sad?
that i dont feel like doing anything?
so again its my fault, and
she scolds me for not helping out in the house
and she says the tone i talk to her
is as if i dont wanna send my bro home
i hate it whenever i'm not given a chance to explain
its not like i did not tell her about the soccer meeting
everythings starting up now
i'm gonna get busier n stuff
cant she just lay it off while i am studying?
i'm trying to study and she has to come and scold me
early in the morning
its spoilt my day
thanks for tt
cant everyone be more understanding?
what the hell
this stupid world

2005-08-13T22:36:00.000+08:00

freaking sicked n tired
today played soccer
was down with flu
but still continued
now i'm feeling super groggy
and the fact tt i'm
thinking of too much things
doesnt really help
well had fun at soccer
13 or 12 ppl came
played futsal at rp
was fun
i played mid
kinda like tt position
haha
.
cell was ok
as usual i guess
then went for service
during service
the worship leader was like saying
God's presence is always
with you everywhere
somehow there was something
in me that said
no tt's not true
yes i did feel his presence last time
but after so many things happened
its been harder to believe
and all that.
in my mind i was asking
God, where were you?
where were you when i needed you most?
where?
.
well heard something funny from sherilyn
last night while talking on msn
she kinda missed her bus stop
so took the NEL back
on the NEL the train had problems
so it slowed down
the announcement was in english
this auntie(who doesnt understand english)
sitting beside her was like
xiao mei got terrorists?
wahaha talk about language barriers mans
hahas
.
gonna sleep now
super tired! cant wait to hit the bed
hahaha
at least i'm happy!!!
man u beat everton!!!
they beat champs league stuff 2-0!!
woohoo
now that's an overated
'champs league team' for you
hahaha
hope liverpool win later....
nights

2005-08-12T16:19:00.000+08:00

i was super tired in sch today
although i slept at like 1130pm

the night before.
everyone's changing.
things feel so different
guess when u loose someone
who is so dear to you
u kinda make more friends
naturally?
no idea.
.
well i kinda lost my voice
sicked.
having a headache now
but dun feel like resting
there's so much on my mind
too much i guess
everything's piling up
.
finally saturday's here!
the weekend's finally here
no more sch for the time being
no more things to remind me
of those memories.
soccer tm morning
hope it'll be fun
.
torn between my heart n head

2005-08-11T21:56:00.000+08:00

Had IAC and comn toolkit
kinda boring
well i've kinda lost focus
lost my motivation i once had
at least i think so
.
have been emo these few days
last night i emoed to sleep
i feel so alone and so lost
dont know n cant explain why
but i feel so sad and depressed
today met miah
bought ball for soccer
then went to marina
got famous amos for my mom
her bday's tmr
got her 500 grms i think.
.
why does eveything seem
so far away.so far away.
it felt so right.was it wrong?

2005-08-10T20:49:00.000+08:00

Tired and confused

didn't feel like waking up today
was kinda tired and stuff
lay awake last night thinking
had a headache in sch today

maths period kinda sux?
the teacher came to me
and she said this
zy, u're getting proud ah
i was like wth?!
what did i do mans?!
haha
funny teacher.she looks
tai tai, drives a bm
anyway was busy doing mol

dota during break
keep getting dced
irritating
thermo was as usuall
jaya let us off early
and went for maths
gadaffy was again trying
to be funny with miss wong
hahas
after math he couldn't find his
lappy thanks to rishi
we didnt plan it
so funny
he saw our serious faces
then he started to panic
ran to the thermo class to check
checked jimmy's car boot
then went to math class
all the while we were laughing
so hard the tears almost came out
this has to be the best punkd'
we ever pulled off
he even asked miss wong for help
she came down and was like
who took his lappy?
we all say 'not me'
haha
then when he came back we told him
to check the car boot again
and it was there!!!!
lols
so funny
this is turning into a weekly affair
every wed at 5 at the block 50 carpark
hahahaha
he's been punkd' so many times man
hahaha
kinda feel sorry
but then again....
haha
hope he doesnt take it to heart

tt kinda made me not so sad?
as in took my mind off sutff?
on the bus back started thinking again
but when i came home
talked to a friend
then felt much better
guess i needa stop thinking
i need to get my piorities right
just like miah said
with the soccer ministry started
and the exams coming
i really got no time to emo
i hope i can get my piorities right.
fast.

2005-08-09T22:25:00.000+08:00

i'm tired.
physically n mentally
nothing to do so updating blog
i feel life sux
and i dunno why this
is happening to me
was it my fault?
am i not good enough?
well
i was serious
all the time
i tried my very best
all that i could do
i did
telling the truth,
i never loved/liked someone
so much
not ever in my life
never have i felt so deep feelings
for someone
and yet it doesnt work out
i find it hard to believe
in fate n miracles
why is this happening?
will it do me any good?
i think the bible said
God will not test u
if he knows u cant pull thru it
i seriously hope i can pull thru this
but i will not be the happy
fun loving n carefree zy
anymore.
too much has happened
something has changed in me
things dont feel the same
the way i look at things
its changed too
somehow
all the faith confidence n happiness
tt i once had
its gone
i wont be able to really smile
for a long time.

2005-08-09T17:20:00.000+08:00

i'm real bored at home
woke at 11
had lunch
and have been gaming till now
[
u say u dont want to
talk as often
meet as often
u say u dunno why
[
i'm lost
what's happening around me
i'm in a daze
i dunno what to do
what to feel
i feel so numb
so lost
[
why?
why is this happening?
i hate this life
i dont think anybody in this world
knows how i feel now
what i am thinking
it seems like
i have just faded away
everything i thought i knew
its gone. whether for good or not
i don't know.
i feel so screwed
what's with love
i'm so tired of it
yet i want it so badly
the memories just keep coming back
what did i do wrong?
decisions?
decisions which i never meant?
decisions based on what this world
thinks is right?
so much for the principles
all the bullshit
i hope this ends soon
i just can go to heaven
and have no more worries
no more fake smiles
no more silent tears
no more painful hearts
no more memories haunting me

2005-08-08T22:29:00.000+08:00

i dont know what's wrong
but after all this has happened
i kinda lost faith in God
i'm kinda distant from him now
i seriously cant rmmbr
anything from the bible
it feels as if my
memory has been wiped out
i prayed so hard
i tried to balance my quiet time
daily devotions
talked to God
prayed about it
almost every moment
it seemed like finally my
prayers were going to be answered
then my world fell apart
why God?
why?
i thought i had found someone i could relate to
be totally transparent with
someone who accepts me just as i am
someone whom i can tell
where i failed
i had never felt that happy
even though it was
so restricted
just when i thought life had
just got better
everything that i had prayed for
fell apart
now everything's so uncertian
where're u God?
where?
when i start to tear,
are u here?
i feel so empty

2005-08-08T19:12:00.000+08:00

havent been home much lately
yday was kg's bday
met him at arnd 3pm
went to max bremers
at esplanade
had a choc n ice cream waffle
and a sackou
was good.damn nice
[
after tt wanted to catch a movie
but we were kinda too late
so went to pool fusion
played abt an hour
FINALLY
i beat kg 5-1
at 9 ball pool
haha
aft tt went to meet shourav
went to a lan shop at cine
had some fun
my arctic really sux now
hahaha
aft tt went to swensons'
met xavier marcus and xing long
had rodeo wings fries
then had baked rice
finished my meal with
a sticky chewy choc
was struggling to finish it
t0o much choc in a day
lol
[
ok here comes the most
EXCITING part of my day
went to kg's hse
he taught me a little magic
gonna practice
ok
here comes the best part
she called!!!
talked on the phone
for bout 45 mins
havent felt tt happy for
a long long time
though it was 45 mins
i was really really happy
and i wasnt bored at all
not one bit
even hearing your voice
felt so good
i just wished tt
i would nvr have to put
the phone down
hope you'll call more often
hahs
TODAY
got home from kg's place at abt 830
was kinda tired but dint slp
went to sch earlier
realised tt joel n yi hog were at pizza hut
with yi hong's stead
woohoo
went there to have a look at her
all her friends were there too
got a piece of free pizza
lol
aft tt went for autocad
wanted to get tt program into my com
copied over but didnt work
[
was sleeping during thermofluids
hahas
must be too tired
just couldn't wake up
[
OK THE BEST PART
'bumped' into her
at the convention hall
saw her from afar with dawn
watched her slowly walk
towards where i was standing
was great watching her walk
she waved and sorta smiled
my heart melted
finally saw how dawn looks like
she looks v diff frm the
photos u sent me
hope can meet u more often
it really made my day
smiles*

2005-08-06T23:36:00.000+08:00

had soccer in the morning
was real fun
20+ ppl came down
our largest group so far
woohoo
[
had lunch at the hawker
went to cs
went for cell
aft tt had service
during service
kinda emoed suddenly
luckily not many ppl arnd
[
went to 'happy hour' aft service
had some wanton mee
not bad
then went to check out settlers cafe
it was full
[
the rest went to have waffles
i guess i had to go home
been hanging out late too many days
[
the bus ride home was esp long
then had to wait at a bus stop
to take the feeder bus
it took 40 mins to come
spent tt 40 mins
thinking about stuff
was kinda pissed the bus took so long
[
i'm really missing you
i guess feelings cant just fade away like tt
everytime my hp rings
or i recieve an sms
i'm hoping its you
going on msn
is just to hope u're online
all i think about
is what happened
all the memories
they're just re-playing
themselves in my head
please please
come back

2005-08-06T00:27:00.000+08:00

worked on tt darn AMP proj
till 4am this morn
then woke at 7 to print
stupid printer.
screwed up after printing 12
pages out of 24
kinda paniced.
[
decided to skip eg1 class
too tired
went to sch at 10.
AMP prac was as usual
compro was nfs underground
[
had a presentation during thermo
was kinda nervours
kushal really disturbed eng tat lots
hahaha
kah he too
hahaha
damn funny
[
after sch went home to put my bags dwn
met miah at queenstown for dinner at 730
went to far east to cs with victor n miah
played till abt 1030
then went to bk to slack
just reached home and had my bath
tired
[
i dont know where i go
from here
when was the last time i
really smlied
i cant remember
[
i feel like a fool sometimes
why cant i just go on
living a 'happy' life
why is it so hard for me
to say goodbye
something in me just cant
what's this happening for

2005-08-04T18:04:00.000+08:00

woke up damn early today.
sch was okay
had comm toolkit
kinda sucked
my grp dint really put in much effort
was kinda nervous
when i presented

aft class had lunch with mingkai
met joel at lib
went home

heard frm miah some good news
we'll be able to use queensway sec's
soccer court

i've been gaming alot lately
trying to take my mind off stuff
it works till before i sleep
havent been sleeping well lately
tired
hope i meet my creator soon
at least there'll be no sadness

2005-08-03T19:37:00.000+08:00

missing you

woke up late today and cabbed to sch
wasted 8 bucks.
math test was a piece of cake.
though i made a stupid mistake
read cotangent as cosine
guess i wasnt really focused
too many things on my mind

supposed to study for thermo at break
ended up playing DOTA
haha.then went for the test
only 2 ppl retook it
the two great men
said Mr Jaya
it was easy
but made a careless mistake again!
converted Bar wrongly
aft tt went for thermo tut and math

after school went off with my friends
they went to atrium to pee
saw m
was happy tt i finally could see her
wells, was kinda sad too
been thinking abt things esp much recently
can't really let go
took 74 to dover
met carmen at Queenstown mrt
haha

now gotta chiong tt stupid
comm toolkit proj
CRAP
a waste of my time

2005-08-02T19:09:00.000+08:00

AMP!!!!

had compro lesson this morning.
tt grumpy old guy
"NOT LIKE THAT!!!!"
lols
so i decided to do my amp proj
not bad. finished some.
am finally halfway thru.

the autocad teacher was on mc
so went to yi hong's hse.
saw this damn cool prototype phone
i would love to get it man
it has windows mobile
keyboard
1gb internal space
sd card slot
and lotsa other stuff
its damn cool.
only bad pt is tt its kinda bulky.
kinda realised i had so many more
sub-topics to do for the amp proj
kinda shocked me.
so many polymers?!wth?!
haha

anyway went for amp tutorial.
was so sleepy in class.
almost fell asleep.
Mr. Wong kept shooting gadaffy
now 2 teachers dun like gadaffy alr
Mr. Wong and
Jayarandran s/o Marimuthu
lols
thank God the tut was only an hour

after tt joel came to my hse to do project
we're kinda like having a tour of each
other's houses.haha.cool.

realised tt ying ying's cousin
was my pri sch friend
and her fren's fren too
haha.
what a small world

gg to eat dinner soon.
having math n thermo test tmr
hope i'll do well
haha

2005-08-02T12:32:00.000+08:00

went to sch early today.
supp to do amp proj
but ended up playing winning 11.
then had autocad.boring!
thermo was worse.good thing tt lazy bas let us off early

well went to joel's house to chiong amp project
his dad kept coming into the room
haha
started off well
but in the end yi hong added some girl
then we started disturbing her
and shooting each other on msn
had some fun
lol
some guy called joel on skype
kept calling so we decided to have fun with him
i told him i was frm hong kong n stuff
had a good laugh
hah
aft we got bored called francis
yi hong played some gang song
lol
slept on the bus on the way home
it was kinda empty

gg for my bath now
aft tt gg to chiong amp proj
hope i can finish it today

2005-08-01T13:11:00.000+08:00

this is my first post

the blog looks cool

thanks to melissa =))

she helped choose the template

edited the lil details

thank you!!!

smiles*